Monday, January 16, 2012

For Auld Lang Syne

My drinking game for 2012 goes like this: every time someone over on the Playthings forum mentions how much better things were Back in the Pleasant Company Days, Jiggy and I sing "for auld lang syne" and quaff a cup of kindness yet.

Never you mind what's in a cup of kindness. Just remember that you'll not be getting any from me.

Speaking of Jiggy, he's started the New Year off by shaking the blues. To celebrate his post-Burning Man de-colloidalization return to a normal hue, he went swimming at Côte d'Azur (okay, maybe he's not done with the blue theme). Except guess what, there was a La Redoute photo shoot going on that day and Jiggy happened to get caught in the background:

What, need a little zoom action?

Yeah, there he is, Jiggy with a hair cut and normal colored skin. You can read all about the incident here: Naked Man in Children's Clothing Ad. The image has been blurred in a futile attempt at modesty but mostly it's to protect your sanity because god knows what you people might do if you saw all that.

Speaking of people getting depressed (which you totally would if you saw Jiggy's package and compared it to the packages you've unwrapped. What? I'm just sayin') do let's talk about the current contender for AG's Girl of the Year, McKenna Brooks alias MehKenna Spelling. I've gotten several condolence letters from concerned readers expressing their dismay about what a come-down it must be for me to deal with MehKenna's gymnastic equipment after the joys of my tricked out Lanie camper and Kanani Shave Ice and Tiki Bar.

Yeah, see, this lack of imagination goes to show why you people lead the lives you lead and why my life is something you can't aspire to in your wettest wildest dreams.

Mark the difference: MehKenna, hells yeah, she is boring.

MehKenna's collection is NOT boring.

MehKenna's loft bed, beam and bar, rubber boots and coat scream KINKY SEX PARTY.

And no, you're not invited.