Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Laissez les bon temp...whatever

Yeah, no blogging from me today. I'm busy. Need beads to accessorize.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

New releases

Someone on AGPT asked what I wanted to see in the next round of new AG releases this week. So yeah, here's my wishlist.

Is AG going to listen to me? No. Why? Because they are morons.

But still, a doll can dream.

I want:

* Pleather clothing. How am I supposed to kick butt in tulle?
* Whips, made in my size.
* A line of AJ-designed jewelry made of recycled barbed wire.
* Lingerie for the discerning doll. In pink, black, and red. No butt-floss, either, cause AJ doesn't floss down there.
* Angry Jess Goes to Jail accessory set. Because a girl always needs to be prepared.
* Office wear for the working doll. Not all dolls sit on shelves having tea parties and posing for albums. I want power suits -- and none of this Hilary Clinton matronly boxy shit, either. Use fabrics that breathe, flow, and flatter my decolletage and curves just enough that everyone pays a tad more attention in Monday morning meetings. Also, a doll-sized briefcase and Blackberry.
* Body piercing service at the Doll Hospital.
* Weaponry.
* New Foodstuff collection to include: asparagus,raw oysters,figs,bananas,caviar, and of course, champagne and chocolate.

I wish they'd debut the Get Jiggy line of Male Performance Enhancement talc and body lotions, but that's never going to happen because AG corporate is in denial about doll sexuality. Repressive bastards! Saint Pleasant would never have been so short-sighted. Jiggy is shopping it around to other doll lines. So far, WI and LOF have expressed interest. Yeah, LOF, go figure. They don't deny sexuality exists, but they'll make you spend the rest of your days sublimating it. Whatever; so long as they don't modify my hands to that praying mantis position, I'll take their money and run with it.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

The real power behind the presidency...

Remember how I said I'd come to an understanding with both candidates for the Presidency?

Yeah. I am Obama's new speechwriter. Thanks for asking.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Toilet Bowl Sunday

Super Bowl, feh, whatever. I think they should pit the two worst teams in the league against one another in an extravaganza called the Toilet Bowl. Mariah Carey could be the halftime entertainment. Seriously, don't talk to me about Mariah Carey. She needs to crawl out of the whistle register, put some damned clothes on and drop the diva act. Also, some kind soul needs to deflate her before she floats into the air for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade's signature balloon of 2009. I'll grant you that Miss Glitterthing can sing, but FFS her picture is right next to the definition of "over-exposed" in the dictionary. Go away, Mariah Carey, go away. You are scary, creepy, and inappropriate.

Well, the January Word Challenge is over because it's now February, in case you haven't noticed. But of course YOU noticed, because YOU have been stalking the AG website looking for new monthly deals, haven't you? Yeah, well, good luck with that. Get a life and stop being so greedy.

Amending this entry to commend AGPT member jabberwockypie for using all five January Word Challenge choices correctly in her posts. PT member Freaktm came close, but she used "bane" instead of "banal" and of course, that has a different meaning.

The following members managed to use four of the words correctly in their posts: operaghost and freaktm. Member chynatgr worked in two words, while kimpa, mrsmac, and tinkertee each managed to squeeze out one word. I can't decide if I should award a can of llama beans to the high scorers or the low scorers. Well, consider yourselves privileged to get mentioned in my blog. If I missed your efforts, PM me with a link over on Playthings and I'll amend this post to include you. (Don't you correct me publicly; that is never, ever wise).

Here are your February Word Challenges:

Previous rules apply.