Tuesday, February 10, 2009

New releases

Someone on AGPT asked what I wanted to see in the next round of new AG releases this week. So yeah, here's my wishlist.

Is AG going to listen to me? No. Why? Because they are morons.

But still, a doll can dream.

I want:

* Pleather clothing. How am I supposed to kick butt in tulle?
* Whips, made in my size.
* A line of AJ-designed jewelry made of recycled barbed wire.
* Lingerie for the discerning doll. In pink, black, and red. No butt-floss, either, cause AJ doesn't floss down there.
* Angry Jess Goes to Jail accessory set. Because a girl always needs to be prepared.
* Office wear for the working doll. Not all dolls sit on shelves having tea parties and posing for albums. I want power suits -- and none of this Hilary Clinton matronly boxy shit, either. Use fabrics that breathe, flow, and flatter my decolletage and curves just enough that everyone pays a tad more attention in Monday morning meetings. Also, a doll-sized briefcase and Blackberry.
* Body piercing service at the Doll Hospital.
* Weaponry.
* New Foodstuff collection to include: asparagus,raw oysters,figs,bananas,caviar, and of course, champagne and chocolate.

I wish they'd debut the Get Jiggy line of Male Performance Enhancement talc and body lotions, but that's never going to happen because AG corporate is in denial about doll sexuality. Repressive bastards! Saint Pleasant would never have been so short-sighted. Jiggy is shopping it around to other doll lines. So far, WI and LOF have expressed interest. Yeah, LOF, go figure. They don't deny sexuality exists, but they'll make you spend the rest of your days sublimating it. Whatever; so long as they don't modify my hands to that praying mantis position, I'll take their money and run with it.

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