This is wrong.

It almost makes me feel sorry for Lindsey. It's just not right to sell a girl's cooter right out from under her. I mean, I suppose it speaks to the success of my Campaign for Anatomical Correctness that she even has one to begin with. But damn, this is harsh.

On the other hand, how the hell did someone manage to get hold of Lindsey's cooter to begin with? I'm telling you, this puts those New Jersey black market kidney sale rings to shame. Of course, I'm assuming she didn't give it up voluntarily; even Lindsey wouldn't be that stupid. She and Mr. Tiny were probably kicking it old school style when someone slipped a Mickey into her soda...when she woke up, she'd had an Involuntary Cooterectomy.

And WTF, an asking price of $49.99? Come on, that's humiliating. What price can you put on a cooter? Mine is priceless.

These are strange and perverse times we live in, that's all I can say. Hold onto your cooters, ladies. You never know what can happen.