Sandy is a stupid name for a hurricane

WTF kind of name is Sandy? Wasn't that the name of the character that Olivia Newton John portrayed in Grease?

Why would you name a hurricane after her? She couldn't even tell that John Travolta was gay!

I seriously hated Grease. It tops my List of Worst Musicals Ever. Well actually, it is tied with Annie. But if American Girl ever makes Julie: The Musical that one will push them both off the List.

Anyway, I'm here to tell you that Sandy is a lame-ass name for the storm to end all storms, the storm-apocalypse, the Frankenstormaggedon of all times. Damn it, this storm is meant to contribute to the fulfillment of the Mayan prophecy of the end of days in 2012 along with the earthquake in Canada, those tsunami warnings in Hawaii, and Yoko Ono's latest album release. And they called this thing SANDY?

FFS. They could have at least called it Jess in honor of its scarifying natural wrathfulness.

Whatever. I just want you people to know that even though you piss me off on a regular basis, I've got your backs. Someone needs to step up and protect you lot from the horrors of Sandy. So fear not: I've sent Godzilla to the eastern seaboard. He'll be coordinating search and rescue operations.

Yeah. Now that American Girl is selling Licorice again, I expect you people to feed him well.