Wednesday, April 29, 2009

My Cousin Antonin is a Prude

Every family has a black sheep. Mine is Cousin Antonin.

Honestly, he's such an embarrassment.

Yesterday he penned the majority opinion for the Supreme Court's decision to uphold the FCC ban on "fleeting" expletives on broadcast television...which he referred to as the 's-word' and the 'f-word.'

I called him, said "SHIT" and hung up. Then I called back around 2 AM and yelled "FUCK!"

He knew it was me.

Irony is truly lost on Antonin. As his collegue Justice Stevens pointed out, broadcast television is replete with advertisements for feminine hygiene and urinary incontinence products, not to mention wink-wink-nod-nod ads for erectile dysfunction treatment.

But Cousin Antonin clearly prefers erectile dysfunction to the "f-word."

Explains a lot about him, doesn't it?

Such an embarrassment.


  1. Nino's opinion also included the following:

    "We doubt that small town broadcasters run a heightened risk of liability for indecent utterances... their down-home local guests probably employ vulgarity less than big city folks, and small town stations generally cannot afford or cannot attract foul-mouthed glitterati from Hollywood."

    No s--t!

  2. "Down-home local guests" not employing vulgarity? Right. He can kiss my muslin ass. I can't believe I'm related to this idiot.